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Beauty inside and out

11 posts, 11 members
Not sure if it's midlife crisis, winter blues or what but I use seem to have no energy, no motivation, no nothing really.

I've tried a shopping spree thinking might help me feel better. So I have plenty of bath stuff to relax, when it came to clothes I just can't find anything I feel comfortable in. I kind of feel like I can't wear half the stuff I like, with kids makes it hard if they are Climbing on you or playing round not want to be falling out anywear, but then I don't want to be wearing nana clothes.

When your young you can wear what ever you want and get away with it really but as you get older there's that whole mutton dressed as lamb thing that goes on.

It doesn't matter what I'm told I just don't really believe it. I feel when the shop assistant say that looks great, of course it does your on commission right.

Anyone else feel this way how did you get round it.

How old are you where do you shop and what's your casual and going out go to outfits.

Help
Qweenkaren
313 posts
Life changes can be tough. I'm now 41 & have recently lost about 17kg, so I am loving finding the wardrobe I was just storing away. Every now and then I look online to see if there is something I want, but I keep putting my credit card away, as nothing really inspires me and I still need to loose more weight.


My fav clothes at the moment are the ones which have been too tight for too long, especially refinding my jeans! over the last year, I think the store I have found most of 'me' clothes has been Postie Plus, but they tend to be one or two items which just add to my current wardrobe.


In my 30s it was more Shanton, Meric, and Pagani - but now I also live in a small town which dont have any of those stores.


Also, about 5 years ago, some of my friends would get together a few times a year and have a clothing swap - this was a great way to clear out your wardrobe, try new clothes and looks for FREE and then donate the left overs to a favourite charity. I miss those clothing swaps.
Charmmy-Kitty
639 posts
Oh wow qweenkaren thart's awesome progress!
And I often feel like there's nothing that suits me and everything I own looks boring, but I'm stuck on the boarder between looking 'mature' and looking like a kid. Have you heard the site lookbook? It's got heaps of outfit inspo and things like that, maybe you'll pick up some ideas there.
JessB
219 posts
I'm sorry to hear you're feeling down in the dumps StunningSimplicity. From the sounds of it you really need some you time to relax and / or enjoy yourself. Usually when I feel blue and haven't been able to shake it for a while I either get dressed up and do something or really embrace the wollowing and spend a night watching rom coms or sad movies. Sometimes having that dedicated and scheduled you-need-to-cry-a-little time planned out helps remove the guilt of not being up and about. 

In terms of not finding anything you feel you can wear, I'm 23 but over the past year and a bit put on a lot of weight, to where 90% of my closet doesn't fit me. It took me a bit to accept that my body shape had changed and though I couldn't wear what I was used to that didn't mean there wasn't anything out there I would look good in.

I also feel like (yes, I am young and it might be me being naieve, but I hope not) that older women should still be able to express their personal style. You should be able to put on something you feel hot in and just be good with that, without having to worry too much about what others think. Perhaps for everyday wear it might be more about accessorising in your individual style though? For me at work I still try to integrate leather and some punk influence while still looking professional. Perhaps you need to find your balance? I know that a "meh" dress can become a much-loved outfit with a bit of accessorising and flair. 
Lisa-Lou
2679 posts
I think it is normal to feel blue sometimes. We are only human. When im feeling down I like to spend time with friends that make me laugh, people with positive energy are great to be around. Maybe take a wee break from everyday life and do something you have always wanted to do.
I am 35 and in regards to clothing I don't care what other people think. Wear what makes you happy and makes you feel good. I have a goth/alt wardrobe so I guess I definately don't follow the norm. I like wearing something that 50 other people are not wearing. We are all unique.
Macs
5351 posts
Hey there, 


Winter Blues are perfectly normal especially in this season. It's ok for us as mums to have these sorts of feelings. I've felt like that before. 


The last two months I have been failing my diet. But I keep persisting with exercise every day. I've lost 18 kg . I have another 20 kg to get to my goal weight. I've pretty much hit plateaux. Now I need to switch my food and probably increase my exercise. 


I find going for a long walk in the morning helps me reflect on myself and my life. It's like my private time to gather myself for the day. I've been really grateful for the Free Crossfit classes and positive support there that keeps me going. 

Find something you love doing for you whether it's exercise or a new book anything I think it's important to have for yourself because we share everything as mums. I hope you feel better soon. 
Julieal
915 posts
Stop worrying -Be You. If you feel good in something wear it -I have found each morning I stop and think -Why am I lucky and there is always something which sets the tone for the day .Be Happy and enjoy being YOU !!
alexgrin
11 posts
I have a different definition for beauty: a combination of qualities, such as confidence, poise, joy, self control, patience, truthfulness, kindness, persistence, and loyalty, that can shine through a person, making them a positive role model for everyone around them.
siouxsannah
261 posts
Hi. I think everyone gets sad in winter because it is cold and dark. So your feelings are natural.

I am 37, and I love to go thrift shopping for clothes because I love finding unique, vintage items. These days when I do buy clothing new, I usually buy them online from Asos or Boohoo. Buying online is quite easy if you know your body shape and your measurements. Quite a few of Boohoo's items are aimed at women in their 20s, but they have the odd nice thing, and they have a lot of sales, sometimes as much as 40% off. 
ragingfrog
1289 posts
I find that how I am feeling has a great influence on how I feel about my age. I don't look my age and I don't behave my age either, I feel like my late 20's/early 30's calendar years 40. If someone can explain how kid free 40 is supposed to act would be great too. 
What I wear, I get jeans from the warehouse normally, reasonable price and good wear. For tops I go online to yoursclothing.co.uk, they have a large selection and size range. I try and pick colourful tops rather than just grey or black, quite often they have the same top in several different colours.
Most days I wear a lipstick colour that is bold and makes me feel fabulous, that came from the BRBB 3 I got a hot pink lippy that is is weekly rotation with other shades of standout. I don't really wear nude lipstick but I have one somewhere.
Mumof3Munchkins
2718 posts
Massive hugs hun, definitely normal and yes sadly been where you are xxx

As parents we put so much effort into our kiddies that when we do finally have time for ourselves (we do? lol) that by the time that happens, we just have no motivation, get up or oomph to look after ourselves.

I love thrift store shopping as you find some really good bargains there and I'm all excited to try them. However I always feel disappointed in either the way they look for feel.  I either love them when I get in there and then get home and I feel really sad or down because they somehow don't look like they did in the shop.  Or I get them in the changing room to try them on, love the clothes, but they look meh on me.

I've worn the same clothes with the odd new things thrown in now and again pretty much since I became 'Mummy'.  I just don't get excited about it anymore, I want to, so I totally know where you are at.

Although recently I kind of just felt sick of feeling this way, asking myself 'Is this how my life is always going to be?' So I started watching Youtube videos, (Youtube videos you ask? lol) and found this really energetic young girl who was into fitness.  Loved watching her videos and she inspired me to get up off the couch and start looking after me for a change.

I have now cut out all carbs and naughty items and am exercising, have bought some exercise clothes and I am loving it.  I feel so much better within myself and I'm losing weight but more importantly I am starting to feel the old me coming back.

The only thing I can say to you hun, is to look back at a time where you were happy within yourself and find out what it was that made you happy.  Or maybe it is time to start something entirely new, giving you something to get excited about or look forward to.

Massive massive hugs and keep your chin up and find your happy place xxxxxxxx

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