I am your Beauty Therapist. I tackle the areas of your body that you dislike or are uncomfortable with and hopefully you leave my salon feeling beautiful and confident.
Now I know any job in the beauty industry seems glamourous, but let me tell you the truth. Behind the smile and the chit chat lie long hours, a low-end pay scale and customer service so full on it's exhausting. When I return home to MR B.T I often have to take myself in the bedroom to decompress from the conversations I've had. Salacious gossip. Truly heartbreaking personal problems. TMI to levels that would make even the most bawdy lass cringe.
Another thing I know is that often my clients are very self-conscious about coming in for certain treatments. Like the infamous Brazilian. And I totally get it - other than your partner, doctor or midwife, your lady areas should remain private right? Afterall, a lady reveals nothing.
Unfortunately for us Beauty Therapists, some ladies reveal more than anyone would want to see.
Let me preface my secret-spill-all by say vagina schmagina. Bikini waxing is my most popular procedure - I don't bat an eyelid at the mooey. I see a lady garden that needs pruning and I prune it. I've waxed family members and best friends, and guess what, I can still look them in the eye.
And yet every so often I deal with a client who makes a Brazilian just a little less pleasant.
I always offer full service to my clients - no one wants the rear-view of their bikini to let them down right? Well one regular client brings a whole new meaning to the word skidmark. Ladies, the saying is wipe from front to back, not wipe onto the back. Or indeed the treatment bed.
If there's one thing that unites all women it's that monthly visit from Aunt Flo. But here's a tip ladies - hot wax and a tampon string do not make for a comfortable bikini wax.
And speaking of Aunt Flo - please do not dispose of your used sanitary protection in one of our pristine white fluffy towels. Please.
Wash. Please wash.
Did you mean to leave that piece of tissue paper in that spot? Just like you would a midday smear test, freshen up before your appointment. Please! Please!
And when I offer you our wipes, please use them. And dispose of them in the bin clearly provided. Do not leave them on the floor, bench or worse, my clean counter top.
Oh, and, there's one thing a quick wash or a wipe will not solve...please save any amorous activity until AFTER the wax. Seriously. Ick.
Wee, Wee, Wee, All the way home.
Weak pelvic floor exercises are a curse to many a woman. And they shouldn't hold you back. Empty your bladder just before your wax (and note the previous point) and advise your therapist so she can lay an extra towel down.
Although, if it helps, I was once waxing my bestie who peed on me. And we're still friends.
I will finish this diatribe by saying I am of course talking about the minority, the majority of clients (like you, I'm sure) would never commit these CABs. (Crimes Against Beauticians).
And so, until next time, I will sign off this edition of Salon stories you won't believe with three ominous words.
To be continued...
Your Beauty Therapist.
*The experiences in this article are from a qualified Beauty Therapist. The experiences she has reported are real. Her name has been hidden to protect the identity of herself, her salon and mostly, her clients. Innocent or otherwise.