How To Get Your Best Bikini Body Ever!

By BR Kellie

For a perfect bikini body, put a bikini on your body.

I wish I knew who to reference that quote to, the all-knowing Google wouldn’t cough up a name. If I did know who to reference that quote to there’s a good chance I’d hunt them down and give them a cuddle, because they’ve changed my life. Well, perhaps not my life, but certainly my attitude. Let me explain…

Back when I was a teenager I happily rocked a bikini. I remember deciding at age 18 it was time I had one. I saved up my pennies, then one day headed into town where I got my belly button pierced and then went into a surf shop and spent nearly $100 (which was an eye-watering amount of money back then, still is…) on a funky two piece affair from Aztec Rose. Now it wasn’t one of those amazing stringy bikinis, it had boy shorts and a fabulous halter neck top that supported ‘the girls’. I felt a million dollars in it and I literally wore it until it fell apart. Then I had a string of cheaper bikinis, which I also felt great in. Then I had a baby.

The funny thing about having a baby and becoming a mother is that I suddenly decided I wasn’t allowed to wear a bikini anymore. That my body wasn’t the right shape. Things had changed post-pregnancy. The lower tummy pooch I’ve always had is a little more poochy. I’m sure my bum has changed shaped. As for ‘the girls’? Well I don’t know if it was breastfeeding or pregnancy, but they sure seem to be in a race to see who can reach my now unpierced belly button first. 

When I read that quote ‘for a perfect bikini body, put a bikini on your body’ I decided it was time I pulled my head out of my butt. Women around me of all ages and stages and sizes were wearing bikinis and looking fabulous. I sat in a pool wearing my one piece watching 70 year olds frolic about in them looking fantastic. Mothers at swimming lessons wore teeny tiny scraps of material and looked gorgeous. Teenagers with their coltish legs and lack of cellulite swanned about like supermodels. They all looked sublime and I thought, well, why can’t I? So I bought a bikini online and the top despite being in ‘my size’ gave me four boobs. Whoops. Turns out that yes, to have a bikini body you just have to put on a bikini, but it helps if it fits. So if you want your best bikini body ever there’s a few things you might want to know first.

First of all, your style is your style, there’s no way I’d even try to tell you what kind of bikini would look great on your shape, mainly because I believe that if you put a bikini on and you feel great in it then it’s the right bikini for you. The internet is filled with ‘rules’ surrounding size and style, but I’m going to ‘meh’ that, according to those rules I should be wearing a smaller bottom, but I feel better with a bit of coverage going on. I do however pay attention to the bit where if you’re fuller busted a well supported bikini top is a must. Never used to care about that, but post-pregnancy it’s become my new rule… but, of course, it doesn’t have to be yours. It’s your body choose a bikini you feel you rock. However, make sure it’s comfortable, because kind of like any clothing, if you don’t feel 100% comfy it in you’ll look 100% uncomfy.

So what are a few things to keep an eye out for when buying your bikini?

Four boobs. Imagine an overspill of voluptuousness. This can happen when the cup size is too small or the band is too tight or there’s more padding than you need. On the flipside, you’ll want to ensure the cups aren’t too big either, mainly because you might not want to find yourself floating out of them whilst you’re working on your best mermaid moves in the pool. You want your girls to feel supported, like they’re being cuddled by their best friend after a breakup, and a correctly sized band and cup can help with this.

Another thing you might want to watch for is owwy-looking back bulge. To be honest I don’t mind a bit of back bulge, it happens to everyone, even supermodels, but if you want to minimise it make sure the bikini band isn’t super tight. This is easy to do if it’s a tie-back, but if it’s a clip-on you may have to go up a size if you’re feeling like your skin is being cut into. 

As for pants? Those are pretty simple. You don’t want them to cut into your hips and you don’t want them to be baggy in the front or back. I find going up a size compared to my usual underwear size makes for a perfect fit. Just remember if you’re going to try a pair on that you keep it hygienic and do it over your existing underwear. 

Lucky for us we’re living in a world where the bikini industry has blossomed with separates. I’m a huge fan of Kiwi brand, Piha, because they offer swimwear to suit all shapes and sizes and it can be mixed and matched in order to suit your shape and style, which is a great start if you’re looking for the perfect fit.

But you know what? If you don’t mind a bit of extra boobage, hippage and backage? Who cares!? That bikini I bought that’s a bit small? I’ll still be wearing it – and if anyone has a problem with a little overspill, well, that’s their problem, it’s not like I’m in danger of a nip slip (I’ve done the jumping jack test and the lie down get up quickly test and those parts of my girls are well covered). 

So are you a fan and/or a follower of ‘the perfect bikini body is any body in a bikini’ philosophy? Or do you admire anyone who rocks a bikini but prefer to hit the pool or the beach in a one piece (which is also perfectly cool!)? What are your tips for finding the perfect fitting swimsuit? Chat away!