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2020 Resolutions / Goals

40 posts, 12 members
Mumof3Munchkins
2718 posts
Couldn't find a thread for this, so thought I would start one.

Every new year I start looking at what I want to achieve for the new year. What do I want out of 2020 that I didn't get out of 2019, or what did I do last year that I want to do better this year.

This year for me, is to focus on me. Now that might sound a bit selfish or a bit uppity, but last year I found myself worrying about what everyone around me was doing and comparing myself to them. Always caring about what people thought of me, was I doing things how they wanted me to do them. Was I right  was I wrong? This always left me feeling negative toward myself, so this year, I'm going to try and not do that. But focus more on the positives and know that nobody is perfect (because that would be boring right).

I also want to look after myself better, eat right and exercise right but at the same time understand that I may fall over but know I can always get back up and still feel proud.

Spending more time with family especially with my parents as my Dad is very sick right now, and I don't know how long he has. Life is too short and I don't want to feel regret about how I didn't visit him enough or didn't tell him I loved him more. He maybe around for quite a long time (which I hope for with all my heart, he's a fighter) but know that he might not.

I want to experience new things and get out of my comfort zone. I get anxious alot, so simple things like going shopping or going to a restaurant really stress me out but need to do them more often so I can cope better.

Last year I also didn't spend as much time on here as I would have liked, so would like to change that this year. I want to do more reviews, as I have a ton to catch up on. I have written two already, so a great start already woop woop.

Sorry for the really long winded post, but would really love to hear what your aspirations are for this year xx
trudijoy
8375 posts
We had a really great mindfulness seminar last year at work and some of mine stem from that 

- embrace stress and use it to fuel me rather than hurt me
- let things go and not get riled up over situations I can't control or other peoples crap 
- work life balance
- continue to focus on what makes me happiest 
trudijoy
8375 posts
And it's definitely not 'uppity' to put yourself first! xx It's necessary to make sure you are okay 
tabucutie
1810 posts
I'm having a moment and it's making me question everything. All I've got for myself right now is being the space for all the turmoil of emotions I am having. It's okay not to be okay and taking some me time to deal with it.
Mumof3Munchkins
2718 posts
Sending warm fuzzies your way tabucutie xx
RamblingRose
1280 posts
Mumof3munchkins, your words reflect exactly how I feel.

2019 was an awful year for me, and I’m tired of being bullied, walked over, belittled and made to feel like I’m not good enough, no matter how hard I try, and constantly being targeted for no apparent reason by certain persons in particular.

I’m not mad, I’m not upset, I’m just done.  Done with letting people make me feel awful when I try to help them, done with people who act like they care about me in front of others, but when it’s one-on-one they’re a completely different person who doesn’t really give a toss, and I’m done with bullies, narcissists and people who cause me to have sleepless nights.  I’m choosing to ignore, walk away from or cut off those people as best I can and however I can.  
shazatron101
5112 posts
I never make any, because i never stick to them, but i think i will try to...

-keep everyone in the house alive (pets included)
-stop being a doormat, especially when it comes to the small one
-enjoy the small one even when shes being a tit
-stop taking on others problems and giving into family/friend drama, because as my eggman says "they dont matter, their opinions dont matter, nobody matters but you and your family"

Lets come back in a year and see how well we've done hahaha
Mumof3Munchkins
2718 posts
Silvene, I'm sending lots of warm fuzzies and love your way xxx

My favourite saying is 'Those that mind, don't matter and those that don't mind, matter'. The latter are the ones that love you for who you are. Those other people that belittle and bully you are the ones that don't deserve to have you in their lives, and if you can get rid of them or at least distance yourself from them, then you are already heading in the right direction.

Not sure if we're friends on Facebook, but friend me if you want to talk xx
Mumof3Munchkins
2718 posts
Definitely agree with the not being a doormat part Shazatron, learnt some pretty important lessons there xx
shazatron101
5112 posts
Yeah slowly learning. Having to fast track itthough as everyone and their dog has finally realized we exist, all because of the small one, and they want to get their claws in her.

Well, people, you didn't give a rats ass before so why the sudden involvement now!? Really irks me!!
RamblingRose
1280 posts
Thanks, Mumof3, warm fuzzies to you, too. 

Thanks for the offer, but I have been talking to someone and I’m feeling 90% better than I did 2 months ago. It took a good number of weeks to claw my way out of the dark emotional pit that I’d fallen into.  It’s really hard when to distance someone hurtful when it’s a parent/family member and they don’t see anything wrong with what they’re saying or doing. I’m just trying my best for it to be like water off a duck’s back and to remember that their opinion doesn’t really matter and it won’t make any difference in what goes on in my life. 

I’m finding that daily walks or yoga, plus meditation does help me keep a more positive mindset. 
Mumof3Munchkins
2718 posts
So glad you've got someone you can talk too Silvene, I hope things get better for you soon.

I find walking makes me feel really good, almost like you can take on whatever the world throws at you. It's great to hear that you've found some ways to help x
SooziesWorld
2999 posts
My ongoing goal is always to go to bed earlier and get more sleep. Not doing too well on that at the moment as I always have trouble sleeping when I'm away. Will be working on it as soon as I get home, as well as go back to my usual amount of caffeine a day (these two things are interdependent!)
Lisa-Lou
2679 posts
I want to move more and not be so lazy, I feel like I spend too much time on my phone/laptop so that needs to dial back. 
Also we want to eventually try for another baby so I want my mind and body to both be in a good place.
Everything else I am happy with, I removed a lot of toxic people from my life a while ago which was such a good thing. No drama, just how I like it :-)
siouxsannah
261 posts
@Mumof3Munchkins I am sorry that your dad is not well. I hope he makes a full recovery. Mine is not doing so well at the moment either. He and Mum were supposed to come to Wellington for Christmas to see me and my sister, but he was not feeling well enough, so they didn't make it up here from Christchurch. We are not sure what is wrong yet. Hopefully nothing serious, but it is hard to know yet. 
tabucutie
1810 posts
Thanks Mumof3 x Today is a new day and looking back briefly, I can see now that I was in a state. Feel much stronger today though.
trudijoy
8375 posts
Tabucutie sometimes that's exactly it. I've trained myself to recognise my triggers and the feelings that will lead to a crash and have an arsenal of tricks that work to pull myself back up. It's taken a long time and a lot of self reflection and awareness but it does work. 

hope you feel wonderful tomorrow ( but remember that it's okay if you don't, it will come) 
Mumof3Munchkins
2718 posts
Sounds like we all could do with some love and hugs in one way or another right now, sending some all your way xxx

I'm so glad I started this thread as our BR family is just wonderful. Everyone needs a safe place to come to when they are going through rough times and I feel that there is so much support and love for one another on here.

This gives me so many warm fuzzies xx
shazatron101
5112 posts
Thought of another... learn to cut my kids hair better hahahaha hello dumb n dumber hahahahahahahahahaha (id say whoops and leave it to the professionals but she looks cute af and more like her spastic mother now lmao)
tabucutie
1810 posts
Thanks trudi. I started yesterday off strong and only had a mini moment compared to the previous day. Today is a well of despair and i'm lost. I want to be at the end of this turmoil already. Im giving myself whiplash with these emotions and it's horrible. And then I remember to just breathe.
tabucutie
1810 posts
Couldn't agree more mumof3. It feels like a safe space here, I really appreciate that.
trudijoy
8375 posts
@tabucutie think of it more like a roller coaster.... highs and lows that are unpredictable. Some feel safe. Some feel scary. But at the end of the day you are safe right round even if it doesn't feel like it. 

I do a 'pick three' activity if I'm overwhelmed with sad. I just pick categories and list three things that made me smile, 3 I'm grateful for, 3 I'm proud of etc until I've calmed down enough to start to work through what's upset me xx
tabucutie
1810 posts
@trudijoy thanks for that suggestion I'm going to do that now and every other time i have a moment.
shazatron101
5112 posts
Hey tabu if you ever wanna talk or vent or just whatever, you know my faceache handle, you are more than welcome to message me :-D
tabucutie
1810 posts
Thanks Shaz x
tannygirl
3392 posts
   I have the same ongoing goal as Suzie to get to bed earlier and get more sleep. My two main goals this year is to do well at school since I'm starting a course in February and to get my restricted. I also think it's time to try dating and meeting people since I'm finally at a healthy and self-confident place in my life after four years of being single, but it's not a main goal. 
Mumof3Munchkins
2718 posts
One of my resolutions was to get cracking on some reviews that I've been meaning to get done for a while now. Woop woop - great start already with 6 reviews written so far. So many more to do though ha ha ha.
Lisa-Lou
2679 posts
Another goal of mine was to go through the entire house room by room and declutter, get rid of stuff we don't use. Well the last thing on my list was to go through the pantry and I just finished! Feels so good to get everything done :-)
SooziesWorld
2999 posts
Well done, Lisa! I seem to have been decluttering forever! My latest tactic is to not just acquire so much in the first place (especially beauty products!). I did manage to declutter the tea shelf in my pantry (yeap it takes up a whole shelf) but that's as far as I've got! 
tabucutie
1810 posts
Congrats Lisa what an achievement and we are only a couple of weeks into the new year!
trudijoy
8375 posts
Nice Lisa! 

I spent six hours a couple weeks ago cleaning and organising. Makes things feel so much more sorted to start the year 
Lisa-Lou
2679 posts
It feels great and has kept me busy for sure! If only my chickens could keep their house clean lol it's neverending poop! 
SooziesWorld
2999 posts
Just be grateful you don't have geese, Lisalou. They're really messy birds lol. 
Lisa-Lou
2679 posts
Oh and they are crazy! I got chased by a goose once and it freaked me out lmao. 
SooziesWorld
2999 posts
They sure are. My mum has a family of four of them! They're so loud ok - as are the Guinea fowl lol. 
MrsO
196 posts
Well done, Lisa. I have just finished de-cluttering my two makeup/toiletries drawers and have managed to reduce them down to one drawer. Pantry next!
AboutFace
412 posts
Yes life can be overwhelming at times, people can be mean and they are reflecting how they feel inside which usually has to do with some aspect of their life. Everyone has something special about them. We all have issues one way or the other so sometimes I just stop and literally smell the roses. Immersing yourself in nature is great for the soul and realize the beauty in the small things. I often smile at a stranger and it's great when they reciprocate but even if they don't I hope that it has cheered them as they may be having a bad day. I hope I'm not being too long winded but basically I really want to say is that You Are All Special :-)
Macs
5351 posts
I used to do these and guaranteed failed each time lol Some of the things for 2020 I hope to do : 

- Start saying No more . All last year I was always saying yes to everyone. 

- Balancing Time with Work, Family and Friends.

-Loose 10kg I put on .

-Declutter my entire house before I move into my first house that I buy . 

That's just a shortlist of some of the main things I'd like to do this year . 
 
tabucutie
1810 posts
@AboutFace: I have to agree nature is a wonderful, beautiful thing. It was nice to just get out the other night to a local park. Watched the sunset, looked at the clouds and the sky and the trees. It's a great way to feel grounded. 

@Macs: Some great goals there, how are they going so far?
AboutFace
412 posts
That's great tabucutie, all those little things make a difference :-)
 

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