by BR Tabatha
There's something about sitting in a hair salon, bum planted on a seat, staring into a mirror for an hour or so that get's the mind whirling. Springing thoughts - both the good and the bad, the sane and the irrational - to life. Thoughts that can see our conversation with our hair stylist range from 'my day's fine, thanks' to 'you won't believe the horror story of a week I've had... let me tell you everything'.
Sound familiar? Check out ten thoughts we've had while sitting in a salon chair...
1. Are these capes a secret torture device? Why must they make me look so pale/washed out/sickly/florid? Why must they choke me, and cut into what little air supply gets to my head? And why is the hair stylist smiling at me in a Stepford Wife robotic way? Do they secretly hate me? Do they think my 'just an inch off and fix my roots' is lame? Am I boring them? Do I need to be more interesting? With my hair, and with what I say?
2. Oh, God, look at the woman and her hair stylist two seats over. They're having a great time. Laughing. Chatting. Being generally fabulous together... Right. Get it together. Show them up with how vibrant and wonderful you are! Make it look like you and your hair stylist have the better relationship!
3. But how? Hmmm... Should I tell my hair stylist about how my friend confessed that his wife thinks we're having an affair, even though GROSS, we're totally not, but now I have one less friend because, uh, how uncomfortable is that!? Yeah... I'm going with that. Scandal makes for interesting conversation...
4. What have I just done!? Should I have shared that? Is my hair stylist judging me right now? I feel like they've gone cold on me. They hate me. They think I'm a marriage-trashing skank. Why did I not shut my mouth!?
5. Nope. It's okay. They're okay. We're okay. They were just thrown back to the time that they had the same thing happen to them. We're bonding over shared experiences. We're good. They're not going to cut my hair an extra inch higher out of some misguided revenge.
6. *looks down the row* Take THAT two seats down. My stylist and I are having a way better time than you are with yours. We're bonded. Sisters in strife. In it together.
7. Sigh. Blimmin heck. My stylist's looking at me again, but under a microscope style. Inspecting me. Am I not worthy of her friendship? Have I annoyed her somehow in the last five seconds? Can this cut and colour just be done now?
8. What made me overshare? I never overshare. Are hair stylists witches? Is that how they get us to say things we otherwise wouldn't? Is by their acting as a therapist to us how we justify paying a shiteload of money every five weeks to get our roots done? Oh man, the chemicals are getting to my head.
9. For Pete's sake! How long does it take to dry hair? I have washing on the line that needs to come off sometime in the next century. It's too loud to say anything, so I can't entertain them with another wild story. All I can do is sit, make eye contact on occasion and smile. Kill me now.
10. Would you look at me? I'm a supermodel! My hair's so shiny, and full of life. The world is going to be blown away when they see me! Take my money, you glorious stylist cum therapist. I have a world to wow!
So... does any of this ring true for you? Or are we all a bit cuckoo at BRHQ?
Why not let us know the thoughts that pass through your head while you're getting your hair done?
Get chatting below!