By BR Tabatha
There's nothing quite like treating oneself to a bit of pampering at a salon. An hour long massage is bliss. A facial is delightful. An eyebrow shape and tint combined with an eyelash tint? It's the selfcare I'm here for. Or is it? Because as much as I think booking a treatment at a salon is a good idea at the time, when I'm there lying on the table my brain decides otherwise.
So... what are the ten thoughts one has whilst at the beauty salon? Read on!
1. I'm so excited for this! I deserve a bit of pampering! It's time for me time! Yeah, it's all about me! I'm going to lie back, relax and enjoy an hour of sweet, blissful peace and quiet while a caring touch is bestowed upon me. Bring it on!
2. Oh god. My zits. My backne. I must apologis to the therapist and tell them I'm sorry that they have to see it, touch it, be one with it every time their fingertips brush over it. The shame!!
3. Phew. They don't care. They're being very nice about it. I love my therapist. They're the best! So kind! So understanding!
4. Why. Is. There. So. Much. Chatting? What's with all the questions? Why does my admission of being self concious about my pimples mean we're now best buddies and we must talk about our lives? I came here for peace. But I'm not getting peace. But do I really want to annoy a person when I'm literally in their hands? Would that be wise?
5. Oh, sweet silence. Finally. Hmmmm... what to think about? Nothing. Think of nothing. Meditate. Get a double dose of selfcare. Hmmmmm, I wonder what I should make for dinner? How many work emails are piling up right now? Then there's that pile of washing that needs to be washed, hung out, brought in and folded. Why is there always so much washing? And why did I think silence was a good idea? You know what, I'm going back to chatting with the therapist. All this silence is stressing me out.
6. The therapist said to let them know if I'd like the pressure harder or lighter, but I've already said harder three times now and it's still not hard enough. Can they not go harder? Is this as hard as they can go? Will they hate me if I ask again? Will they think I'm demanding? Do I want to be seen as demanding? Will they call me a Karen? No one wants to be called a Karen. Why have we even attributed a name to being overly demanding? That's so unfair on Karens. God, I'm so tense right now.
7. Why did I think having my lashes tinted was a good idea? Should it be stinging? I think the dye's in my eye? Am I going to look like some black eyed demon when this is all done? Should I say something to the therapist? They've left the room though... maybe I should yell out that I'm in pain? Or would yelling in a salon be wrong? You know what? I'll just lie here and hope the pain subsides...
8. How uncomforbable is a hand massage? Why did I choose that over a head massage (Because my hair's a bit greasy, that's why...) Still... a hand massage feels so intimate. Their hands slipping and sliding and massaging mine. I'm not even all that comfortable letting my partner hold my hand, why've I let a complete stranger?
9. I've been here a while now. I've stuff to do. Maybe next time I should do some of this at home. I can lie on my Shaki mat, or put a mask on my face. Who has time to go to a salon? How self-indulgent am I? Never again.
10. Oh my goodness! Look at my skin! It's glowing! And my brows and lashes? Beautiful! Ooooh, my neck... it feels so relaxed! It can actually move now. Wonderful! Great! Fantastic! This was the best idea ever! Book me in for a month from now!
Soooooo... Am I alone in having these thoughts? Do you find yourself agonising about what to have for dinner when you're meant to be relaxing or just wishing the therapist would give you a moment's peace so you can have a chance to agonise about that evening's meal? Or do you have the magical ability to just peace out and enjoy?
Get chatting below!