By BR Tabatha
We love Allure's '100 Years of...' videos. They're entertaining, insightful, interesting, and fun! The latest release? 100 Years of Bedtime Routines.
The crew watched. And thoughts were had. Of the unfiltered variety.
Hair is set in curlers with curling fluid.
Milk protein-based massage creams are applied to the face in upward strokes.
'Is this where the inspiration for Leia's hair came from?'
'She's got better brows than me. Did they even have eyebrow products back then?'
'Imagine using only ONE skincare product before hitting the hay. I'd be asleep by 9 instead of 10.'
Bleaching creams become all the rage.
'God, that was a glam time.'
'I want that shifty starry whatever it is she's wearing.'
'Bleaching creams? Pass. Although is it any different to a whitening cream?'
'At least she got to go to bed without her hair all pinned up.'
Hair is pin-curled in a scarf.
Raw beef face masks are applied to restore skin's glow.
'Wait. What? They had hairdressers to do their hair before bed?'
'I think that's just for the purpose for the video...'
'Right. Yeah. Makes sense. God, imagine sleeping on that.'
'Imagine wasting good meat on your face? That's prime carpaccio right there.'
Oil is rubbed into cuticles before bed.
Lanolin-spiked lotions are applied to hands.
'I want those shorty pajamas.'
'Did she just only moisturise her nails?'
'Imagine a world where you only moisturised your nails and not your face at night.'
'I never moisturise my nails.'
'You don't even brush your hair, so that doesn't surprise me at all.'
Posture and tone-improving exercises are undertaken.
Estrogen-based hormone creams become popular.
'How pretty are those colours?'
'Is that the decor of the 50s?'
'How would I know. I wasn't alive then.'
(We may have then turned to the oldest member of the crew, who may have then fired one of us for assuming she was old enough to know, when in fact, she's not. Jokes, no one was fired... just.)
Beehive hair is touched up and scarf-protected, ready for the next day.
Satin pillowcases are used to reduce hair tangles and breakage.
'Beehives were so cool.'
'I wonder how long it took them to get their hair like that?'
'How much hairspray...'
'And they used satin pillowcases. Glam.'
'Have you seen the cost of a satin pillowcase?'
'Yeah. I don't need to be that glam.'
Peel-off face masks become popular.
Hair is given the 100 brush strokes treatment.
'God the 70s were evil.'
'I used to think the 70s were cool. I owned a lot of 70s clothing. Wore it too. I was wrong.'
'Peel-off masks though...'
'Never not fun.'
'Well, except for when they get stuck in your hair and it feels like you're trying to scalp yourself.'
'The 70s. So evil.'
Hair is tied up to create volume the next day.
Sting-y skincare is used to fight zit attacks.
'She makes the 80s look cool.'
'They were cool.'
'My mum's hair and fashion was not cool.'
'Maybe NZ in the 80s was the problem. Maybe the rest of the world was cool and we weren't.'
'Good tip though, piling hair up high at night to boost volume in the morning.'
'Still totally applicable.'
'Unlike those evil skin-stripping acne washes and pads.'
*Whole team shudders*
Overnight retainers maintain straight teeth.
As-seen-on-TV exercise gadgets are used to tone up the bod.
'What is that contraption? It fixes her teeth?'
'Never saw one of those.'
'Did people even have them here in New Zealand?'
'If they did we can see why they didn't show them...'
'I had one of those as seen on tv ab machines.'
'Did it work.'
'I did not rock, rock, rock my way to a thinner, firmer me.'
Hair extensions become the fashion.
Whitening strips are used to brighten teeth.
Celeb-endorsed skincare makes its way into our homes.
'I had a lava lamp.'
'I had a flatmate who was a dental hygenist and she said those whitening strips would screw your teeth. So I never tried them.'
'I did. I shouldn't have.'
'You needed my flatmate.'
'I needed my head read.'
Say 'bye' to basic skincare and 'hi' to multi-step skincare.
'Is that a salt lamp? What are they even for?'
*silence* *shoulder shrugs*
'Sums up what my bedside table looks like. Minus the plant. And the salt lamp.'
'I have to go to bed thirty minutes earlier to get my skincare done.'
'Anyone else feel like we're living in the decade where the bedtime routine is the most high maintenance?'
'You're forgetting that evil pin-your-hair-up-with-metal-contraptions era.'
'Oh yeah. Second most high maintenance era then.'