Have a concern

Hi ladies. I have a concern that I know I can get help from you lovelies. If you're not aware I'm part of a makeup group on Facebook I found this group earlier this year because I was intrigued in makeup swaps after watching YouTube busting them out.
Anyway this got me some prizes money and makeup all stuff I didn't own. I made friends and a swap buddy aswell. During this time I was made admin and there were only a handful of NZ members the group has grown and next month it's doing a 6k giveaway. The main founder is Australian and she does daily giveaways I mean they're fabulous. I added all my br friends to this group too hoping they would get the same chance as me and get some international friends for swaps or purchases.
Anyway all my hauls have been due to finding friends in the usa and Aussie.
A month or two ago the founder messaged me making claims that a member sent me some makeup to give as a prize this happened about the time I got my gifts from farmerswife and BR koni. Oh and my first sephora order. I justified myself and in no way did I get makeup from anyone for a giveaway. ( sorry this is going on but I'll get there)
That was over with.
Then yesterday I got asked and interegated by the founder again about both my swap and haul. She claimed that my NZ FB friends have messaged her saying stuff about me. However she wouldn't tell me their name or what they said.
So my swap buddy got her parcel two weeks ago and never posted a pic of it but when I got mine I posted a pic to the page.
Then my haul yesterday was one I did thru a friend I found in the group but we chat daily and talk about all things, I paid for the sephora items and the rest my friend gave me she initially said I can buy it but when I went to pay she said no more money. The founder asked me how did I get my makeup did I pay for it all? Did I pay for shipping etc.
Anyway it got heavy so I just apologized and asked her to forgive me. Just to shut her up but this is against my values. Like the fact she said stuff on a post and that I apologized about nothing I did wrong. I've been considering leaving the group for a while and this just hit the nail on the head with regards to the decision.
My question is , what should I do? Next ? I have my main friends from the group we talk out of the group and also I had added some of my BR friends to the group. Has this lady gone overboard? Im sure none of my fb friends from NZ would complain about me either? I thought to post this here because it's a safe place and makeup related. I did like this page but I feel it's gotten out of hand. I get tagged to do things in the group and I do it. However I've pulled back lately.

Sounds toxic and messy.  Pull out, and private message your friends and contacts that you want to keep with an edited version "heya, having some issues with the group admin and am over it so have left, but really want to keep contact with you x" kinda thing.

But get out.  She obviously has an axe to grind, or an inability to believe you, and to be honest, you don't need the aggro

Exactly what my friends have said but they said. Thanks Trudi xxxx I knew this was the place to confirm it.

Like Trudi said, I'd get out too if it were me.

That kind of hassle isn't pleasant and you know you haven't done anything wrong so apologising just doesn't feel right.

I suppose nothing lasts forever, it sounds like you've made some great contacts and can take that on with you as you leave. I'd be sending the friends I'm close to a message just explaining briefly what's been going on and asking to keep contact.

I suppose FB is good for that, have you thought about blocking her if you need to? 

I'm admin on a group too (a real life one with an online component) and as soon as someone gets like that, they're out, pretty much.  She's causing drama.  You're too kind & honest a person to have done the things she is accusing you of and it won't get better.  Cut your losses xx

Sorry that this happened to you; you're a sweetheart.

Thanks Trudi and Amanda yes NY friends are all good I just wondered about the admin should I explain to them in our admin chat because she has kicked out a few admin and then goes into the chat and goes on about them to us.

Amanda she is my fb friend aswell I guess as soon as I remove myself she'll probably unfriend me. Do you know what I had gotten her some bossy stuff to send her this month for her birthday too.

Crikey! The stuff I sent was just cause I could and wanted to.
So I was admin of a fb group that was set up to do roaks and chat about makeup etc. I left many months ago then I was topic of a nasty conversation not long ago behind my back. One thing I learnt is you can't trust anyone. Ones I thought I was best mates with all turned. Basically I see it as cyber bullying. My advise is to leave the group. Your real friends will know what kind of a person you are. The woman that is trying to get your makeup for prizes sounds like a not a very nice person in my opinion.
Are there other admins? Do they get treated the same way?

Ugh why do people have to be like? You're too blessed to be stressed Keri - get out while you're still calm and collected. BR set a pretty good example not too long ago with not tolerating drama so you shouldn't either xx

I agree wtih Trudi I would just get out.  No one needs that kind of drama in their lives, it should be a fun thing and if it stops being fun and it starts to stress you out I would just leave.  Just message your friends and those you want to keep in touch with. You'll find yourself happier without the nonsense !!

Oh No Ong that sux.

Yea there's other admin umm they've all backed off and basically the older admin have heaps of hook ups. Then the two new ones are aussies who do what she says. Newbies I was once them lol. She said people are moaning she favors me? She has heaps of money and a whole room of makeup. So Idk why she's so over me about my hauls? I have said though I have nor much and hardly any makeup but since saying this my makeup has been accruing thru the months as ones would.

Yes yes yes you all make sense thanks Trudi Amanda Ongelique Koni & Mila xxxxx

yep Koni if every website handled cyber nastiness as quickly and wonderfully as BR do then it would be stamped out fast x

Like most of the other ladies I would leave as well.

I like to surround myself with positive things (hence I spend so much time on here). If something is making you feel bad then you have the option to leave. If it isn't making you happy anymore it isn't worth it. Especially when I'm sure the people you are friends with separate from that group will stand by you. I was in a Facebook group for a wee while and eventually it became a wee bit negative so I realised it wasn't making me happy and left... but do whatever makes you happy!!!

Facebook groups can be a minefield at times. I am a member of a few but I don't admin any on FB. I've been admin many times on forums but I won't do FB.  You'll sort it, as has been mentioned you are a lovely person and I hope you know that x

Oh Keri! Im so shocked and sad to hear that this has happened to you. Im apart of the group too and it really felt welcoming and a cool place to be. Unfortunately I have seen a bit of cattiness going on. I was thinking of doing a swap in the near future. Trust is such a hard thing to come by. I've seen friends had it betrayed in groups and it's awful. If you do leave, I will leave too. Just wouldnt feel right without you there. Just know I'm only a pm away xxxx

Ughh it sounds like shes having a hard time and you're her target. Don't put up with it. If she's happy to emotionally make you feel down without regret then is she really that much of a friend? Is she that important to hold on to? if yes then i'd ask her whats going and if not then leave the group. Message/add the girls you do want to stay close to and let them know whats going on if need be. Hope it all gets better for you x

Agree with all of the above hun. What an awful experience. I wouldn't waste another ounce of energy on this person.  Keep your chin up. :-) xo

Oh Keri, this sounds like a sucky situation. I agree with the other ladies on here, i would just leave, and messge those people who i wanted to stay in touch with. I think its not fair when situations are being twisited to make it look you are the bad guy, and its not fair that people are saying things behind your back that are not true. I don't like that at all x

Thank you ladies I has left the group while you had made comments and I thank you all. I got a few messages that said they were hoping I was ok because I did a public post and admin post just saying how lovely everyone is and to stay beautiful. I thanked everyone and I didn't say anything bad.
I love you all for being so supportive. I think this combined with my current life pressures just got tok much why I took it on board. I feel better now cos I've got my real friends and BR back to where it started.... :)
Thank you ladies stay beautiful.

Oh Keri thats awful  - I had no idea that kind of stuff went on! Really though, if she was in your workplace or neighbourhood you'd give her the swerve so that's good advice to get out and if anyone unfriends you then that's a blessing when you think about it!

You definitely did the right thing. When a fb page starts to negatively affect your life, it needs to go!

I owned a group on FB, I hung in for longer than I should have as I really enjoyed helping others and organising things for people. I then had some of the former members, who left on their own, started their own group where they cyber bullied others under a guise of being a good group, they tore into me on a post based on my looks and body image, it destroyed me and has taken ages to get my head back right. I thought it was me but there will always be people who target those who they are either threatened by or think will be easy targets. Glad you got out before you're too upset or sucked into the drama. I wish I had sooner. Life's too short for petty drama like that.

I'm so sorry you're experiencing this! Like others have suggested, I would get out. I've left a couple of facebook groups when I found the atmosphere being created was something I didn't want to invite in my life - I don't have room for other people's negativity and cattiness. We're adults now, this founder seems to be growing too big for her boots and has no right to make you feel this way.

Chikoboo & Keri at least you left. Ignore the nasty people. They will soon move onto their next targets. You are both strong woman with hearts of gold. I believe the old saying beauty comes from within!

Keri, like you I fail to see what you did wrong but you are better off out of it. You and Chikoboo can be 2 of the best blood types A+ & B+. It means you are A plus and Be postitive it all works out.

Awww hun sorry you're going through this, the world really can be a cruel place especially as all you did was be a lovely person. Sometimes the loveliest of people are the easiest targets for those that are not happy in their lives. So glad to hear that you left the group and you left in a very mature way xxx

Ong and Chikoboo big hugs because although I didn't experience what you went through I saw the hurt you were going through and it was heartbreaking to see, sometimes it really is not worth the stress and upset xxx

I admin a group of nearly 6000 members and believe me when you have that amount of people, mainly women, in one place there is bound to be some upset. Usually they get one warning and then they get deleted if it happens again, so I've been pretty fortunate in that respect xx

Lots of hugs xxxxx

The other lovely ladies have said it all, but I suggest removing yourself from anything that doesn't make you feel excited or empowered. Unfortunately a lot of the time this is FB groups as they get out of hand and people do/say things on the internet that they wouldn't say in  person. I personally only use BR as there is zero negativity and I have never felt nervous to post something. Goodluck with getting everything resolved. 

I wish I could say I've never felt nervous posting to BR chelsea. There is nastiness but its jumped on so quickly by the BR team that it's easy to be confident that the right of all members to use the forums (provided they stay within the very reasonable guidelines) safely and happily is protected.

I love that it has been made clear that bullying, victimisation and negativity towards others are not acceptable here. I love that those who have been guilty of this are mostly not on the site or the forums anymore. I love how the community stands up for those who are being victimised or bullied. It's happened to me 3x on BR and was dealt with superbly by the team....in one case I missed almost the whole thing and by the time I caught up with what was being said about me it was all over.

There have been idiotic claims against BR of favouritism and unfair consequences but they're ridiculous. The guidelines on here are fair and clear, the thinking is transparent, & if you get reprimanded, warned or banned you only have yourself to blame. Hopefully those who are still BR members who like to belittle and victimise people now understand that this community doesn't accept that.

I try to hold my silence about this on the forums but having been a (rare) case where a few nasty girls came out against me on BR, then on Facebook (be careful who you trust with pics on Instagram....), I think people need to know just how amazing BR are at dealing with any nonsense.

I agree get out. Sadly bullies hide behind their screens and think normal rules of life dont apply and treat it like a computer game. Ontop of this admins can take their power far too far.

The damage has been done, surround yourself with people who respect ya :)

That's so horrid
I'd just ignore it X

Kellsz you're so right... they don't see it as real life. I'm very much a 'trust someone unless they prove they don't deserve it' type but once trust is gone it's hard to get it back. I decline FB and IG requests of people who lost my trust before establishing a positive place in my life because I don't need the drama. That includes on BR.... Same goes for groups. Cutting your losses is better than hoping people will eventually see you for who you are.

Keri, well handled. Posting a positive message when you leave makes it very hard/obvious for anyone trying to sh*% stir. You left with the moral upper hand.  :)

I think you handled well as well. It's that awkward situation of you want to know what people are saying about you, but at the same time if you're no longer there you possibly won't be of interest anymore. I had a someone write nasty things about me on facebook not that long agao and they didn't even know me well. Some people seem to just enjoy being nasty. Anyway, my condolences, I know its feel pretty rough when people do things like that and its lovely to see that people here have affirmed that you're the opposite.

It such a shame when good things turn bad due to people abusing the system. I agree the right thing to do is to leave this group.  It sounded great, sorry to hear of this.