By BR Kellie
Pimples. Zits. Acne. Whiteheads. Blackheads. My nemesis for nearly three whole decades. The bane of my life. Those that will not leave me alone no matter how well I treat my body and my skin. How many ways do I hate thee? There's not enough numbers in the universe to count the ways.
In my eternal quest to banish the blighters I've come across some weird and perhaps not so wonderful suggestions. Some work. Some don't. Some are 'oh yeah nah' in their grossness. Some I wish I'd tried, and now plan to! So what wacky ways are there to show our skin some zit-zapping love? Check these out!
'Pop on a bit of potato!'
This is one I wish I'd tried, and may still, because I can kind of see how it works. Potatoes contain vitamins, minerals and have antioxidant properties, and due to this they're touted as being great for the skin in their raw form. There are a few methods you can try to battle the break outs - peel a potato, thinly slice it, then rub it on affected areas. You can also finely grate potato and then apply it all over your face like a mask for twenty minutes before removing and rinsing your skin. Using potatoes on the skin is also purported to brighten the skin and help with pigmentation issues. And here we thought they were only good for eating!
'Get out in the sun. It'll dry them out.'
Yeah, nah. It'll also create premature wrinkles and carry the risk of skin cancer.
'Try a little toothpaste.'
I'm 99.999999999% sure that I first heard of this back in the day (as in the 1990s) when Simon Barnett said on the wireless that that was how he dealt with zits. If Si did it, then I was going to give it a go! And give it a go I did, religiously dabbing toothpaste on my zits each night in the hope of waking up to clear skin the next day. Did I see a difference? No. Not so much. Toothpaste's sometimes contain ingredients that will dry out a pimple, which is why it's said to work, but conversely it can also irritate the skin. I never saw irritation, but I never saw improvement, although I've read enough reddits to know some people have. I put this in the 'give it a go if you must' category, but frankly, I think the potato sounds like a better idea!
'Dab a little pee on it.'
Pass. Hard pass. Nope. Sure, urine may be antibacterial, but then so is tea tree oil, and one of them did not go through my system and end up in my bladder.
'Salt water will help.'
'Go for a swim in the sea'. I heard this a lot as a teenager, and one summer I decided to give it a concerted go. The theory behind swimming in the sea? The sea has all sorts of minerals wafting about in it that are skin-friendly like magnesium and potassium. It's said to help ease eczema, work to deter acne-causing bacteria, and encourage the healing of wounds. I definitely noticed less zitage that summer, but it was my hair that came out looking best! Gotta love natural sea-spray to make your curls look fab not frizzy!
'Breastmilk. Dab it on, baby!'
I had breast milk on tap for over a year. I gave it a go. I saw no difference. Turns out breast was not best... for my zits.
'Maybe my man juice can be of assistance.'
Okay, so no one has ever said this to me. No man would dare. If they did they'd be laughed at for so long and so hard they'd walk away with a complex. BUT... I have read on the interwebs that some people do suggest that the juice of the trouser snake will help with a break out. I'd sooner put my own pee on my face.