Article by BR Tabatha
Thin. Fat. Slim. Heavy. Underweight. Overweight. Gaunt. Obese.
For some these words can be confronting. For others, they’re just words. For Lauren Conrad some of these words, and no doubt their fellow synonyms, will no longer feature on her website. Recently she released this open letter in which she lets her readers know she will no longer be using body shaming terms. Instead she will use words like ‘toned’, ‘fit’ and ‘healthy’. Her reasons for doing so is that she wants the focus of her website to be on fit, not a number on a scale because ‘healthy bodies come in all shapes and sizes’.
I have two issues with this. Firstly, I can’t help but wonder if this the killing off of truth? The head-in-your-sand approach to not facing the fact that some bodies are too thin or too big? And secondly, is this really about body shaming? Could it be in fact about word shaming?
What is wrong with the words ‘fat’ or ‘thin’? They’re statements of fact. Ways to describe a body. If we stop using them because they’re ‘body shaming’ then how are we to describe our physical selves? Sacks of skin and bone? I was going to write ‘blobs’ –another word LC will probably ban on her website. Heaven forbid we mention ‘blobby’ thighs, although I have them and let them wobble proudly poolside in summer.
These words, these statements of facts, do not have to be said or meant in a derogatory way. My cat is fat. Fact. My best friend’s legs are thin. Fact. Yet should I shy from the facts? Should I never mention these at all?
‘Tab, how do my legs look in these jeans?’ ‘Like legs.’
Helpful? No.
‘Tab, how do my legs look in these jeans?’ ‘Lovely and thin. Buy them.’
This is where we need to remember though that words have power. They can be positive. They can be negative. The power of words also comes down to the context they’re said in and how we choose to take them.
Nearly a decade ago a family member saw me for the first time in years and proclaimed that I had gone ‘pear shaped’. Aware that I had in fact gained some weight due to an overwhelming love of junk food I took it in the wrong way, and spent far too much time than was good for me worrying about my newfound hips and thighs. Years later I mentioned that comment to said relative and they were horrified that I had taken it that way, because they’d meant it in a good way. Perhaps they ought to have prefaced it with ‘lovely’. After all, ‘Oooh, Tab, you’ve gone lovely and pear shaped’ does sound nicer than ‘Oooh, Tab, you’ve gone pear shaped’.
Their statement of fact was meant to be positive, yet due to how I felt about myself I took it as negative. What I really should’ve done is pulled the relative up on it, and then I’d have quickly learnt I was rocking a figure to be proud of.
Yes words can hurt, but you have the power to reject or rise above them, as you also have the power to embrace compliments given.
The other issue I have is that while I admire Lauren Conrad’s desire to only talk about bodies in terms of health, you can’t ignore the fact that sometimes we have to be honest about bodies. Yes, you can be slim and toned. Yes, you can be big and toned. However too slim or too big and you become susceptible to health issues like heart disease and diabetes, as well as a myriad of other medical problems. My concern is that if we put our heads in the sand and refuse to talk about these real issues for fear of body shaming, we’re at risk of causing serious damage to ourselves.
So as I step off my soapbox I ponder my stance on the issue. Should we ban ‘body shaming’ words? I say no, because as far as I’m concerned this isn’t about body shaming, it’s about word shaming. Words are beautiful things. They describe, they empower, and they give shape and form to the world around us. To ban words is to ban knowledge. To ban knowledge is to ban the opportunity to take charge of our health and physical wellbeing. Lauren Conrad can live in a perfect bubble of fitness and health, but it’s not necessarily our reality, and in order to be well rounded we need to be real, we need to be well informed.
So what say you? Should we not mention our bodies in any shape or form? Other than fit or toned? And what if they’re not? Ignore the body altogether? And what next? If we start banning words that describe a person’s body, will hair be next? Will skin? Will ‘fair’ be banned? Will red? Brown? If this is the beginning of madness?
Words can definitely be hurtful towards others, especially since everyone 'takes' things differently. I always try to be sensitive to that but that doesn't mean that I'd lie either if a friend etc asked me how they looked.