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Beauty Moments That Make You Go Bleep

23 May, 2017 - 04:59pm by - Head Pixie | 15 Comments

By BR Kellie

So I was doing my hair the other day, which is a rare thing. Usually the hair goes up in a bun and I go about my day. So I was all impressed with myself for making an effort. Hair was straightened, hair was brushed, hair was looking a bit greasy around the edges (the joy of hair that goes greasy at the blink of an eye), so I got the dry shampoo out, squirt and ‘oh my giddy aunt’ -  I was grey. Unintentionally so. So. I mussed my hair in an attempt to work it in, and then I brushed my hair, and the grey just wouldn’t budge. Good hair day ruined. I bleeped.

I’m actually really glad we don’t have a swear jar at home, because by bleeping beauty moments are many. Here’s a few more that would rack up swear-jar coinage.

You’re getting your face all gussied up for the day, you pump a little foundation onto the back of your hand and the nozzle is a bit gunked up, next thing you know you’ve a foundation-coloured stain on your top, your jeans, or the carpet. And anyone who has tried to get foundation out of all of the above knows it’s a mission, has to be acted on quickly, and that there’s no guaranteed of success. Bleep.

Then there are those times that you’ve spent an age giving yourself a manicure or pedicure. You’ve magically managed to ensure the polish is perfect. No funny bits going over the edges. No wonky lines. No strange thick bits. You’ve sat perfectly still for thirty minutes, not even checking out social media on your phone for fear of smushing the polish. You’re sure it’s good as gold and it feels dry to the touch, so you get up and go about your day only to look down and see that the nail polish lied and you’ve brushed up against something and now you’ve an imperfect mani/pedi. BLEEP!

You know that moment you fumble your phone, it slips from your fingers and you hold your breath as you watch it crash slow-motion-styles onto the ground, the whole time praying that the screen’s not going to shatter? That same heart-stopping heart-in-your-throat feeling can be applied to dropping your favourite eyeshadow palette or blusher. Seeing my MAC limited edition Nutcracker Sweet blush fly from my hands and fall to the floor was a BLEEP moment if ever there were one. Thank the makeup gods it was okay… but had it not been? That imaginary swear jar would’ve been overflowing.

You’ve noticed your eyebrows are resembling furry beetles. Ungroomed furry beetles. There’s one thing for it… it’s time for a trip to the beauty salon for a wax or a thread. Except you don’t have the time to get there. So you figure you’ll tidy it up with your tweezers. One hair there. Two hairs there. Four over there. It’s a little uneven, so you go back in. Next thing you know you’re looking like Keanu Reeves after he comes out of the pod in the matrix. Bald brows. Bleep. Bleep. Bleep. Bleeeeeeeeeep.

Beauty blunders aside, at least with all the cash I’d make with my bleeping I could buy more beauty products… Still, I could do without the heart attack moments that go before the bleeping. Sooooo… have you had any beauty moments that’ve made you bleep? What were they? Did you actually bleep? Was there foot stampage? Get chatting!

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Ok finishing off the full-face makeup with mascara only to drop the wand and as it swooshes past your cheek resulting in a pinstipe of darkness :/ not cool!! :p Or setting your face with setting spray but grabbing the similarly labelled quick brush cleaner... ouch... bleep!!

I don't know how I manage it but every now and then my mascara brush will end up in my eye! Which results in hard blinking, eyes watering and mascara from your eyebrows to your cheeks lol lol. x

Damaging my nail polish usually results in me removing the whole lot and doing a lot of grouching.

aaarrrggghhh, isn't that so annoying!

28th May, 2017 at 4:49 pm

I do the same! So annoying.

24th May, 2017 at 2:20 pm

I can't remember when was the last time I had a bleep moment. But I do remember the last time I had a big beauty mistake that left my skin all raw. I was doing a peel. I never had done those gommage peels except I hadn't read the instructions so I left it on for like half an hour and my skin was getting really tight and I was thinking that's unusual. So I finally when to rinse it off and it had dried to like a layer of glue that wouldn't budge. I rubbed and rubbed with wet hands, my cleansing oil and scrubs. Somehow the lint from my hoodie somehow got on my face and made it worse. I had to pick off the fluff and hairs off my face. My skin was so raw and I broke allot of capillaries trying to get it off. My face had like an irritated rash where I had to painful yank out the hair around my cheeks and jaw. I'm now on the hunt to see if there's a topical product I can use to fix the broken capillaries and redness. I removed so many layers of skin that night just trying to get dried peel off, my skin was just absorbing the water splashed on it. Ironically my closed comodones and milia stayed intact as well as any sunspots. Yep that definitely a bleep night.

Oh no! that sounds like a Renee Zellweger day !!

24th May, 2017 at 9:34 pm

I really should have read the instructions thoroughly. I really hope there's topical product for broken capillaries, since I have whole bunch of them on my cheeks.

25th May, 2017 at 2:00 am

Hmmmm getting my hair looking primo then being to heavy handed with my hair oil and looking like an oil slick! Ahhhhhhh

Dropping my Clinique blush, broke the catch. Running out of product 1/2 way through eg you think you have enough foundation but fail.

I used a lovely mud masque on my face and felt really good and hours later realised I had dry mud in my hair.

I am a clutz for dropping things (although not my phone too much). Just the other day it was some bee-butt serum - sigh, that stuff is EXPENSIVE! I kept dropping eyeshadow, by the 50th drop, I figure it wants to leave me and who am I to stop it.

I feel your pain :( I think I have holes in my hands. I dropped a brand new blush once, right on to concrete :( I don't know how but it actually survived (mercifully).

24th May, 2017 at 10:32 pm

Hehe I bleep all the time when I'm doing my hair and/or makeup! I can be a bit of a rager. It's always worse around "that time of the month" too hahaha

Haha the dry shampoo moment is way too relatable! The beauty moment I absolutely hate above all others is when you slip while doing mascara and stab yourself in the eye — SO painful!

I gasped when I read about the Nutcracker compact - I would have been bleeping right along with you!

My last bleeping moment (no foot stampage just scolding myself for my stupidity) was doing an eyeshadow combo on my lids that I actually thought was quite good. I then had a brain fart and decided to do a winged liner to "complete" the look. Needless to say I went out that evening sans eye makeup.

Whe

When the first time you try to type your message and hit post and it won't post but then 4x later it works but the next post you comment on you hut the wrong button and it sends it straight away. Beeep

24th May, 2017 at 8:03 pm

When you finally get your hair into that perfect bun and the hair tie that you struggled to get on just right bre

24th May, 2017 at 8:06 pm

Hahaha

18th June, 2017 at 10:50 pm

I can relate to the nail polish drama, however the worst is when I sneeze when I have just applied my mascara! It is hard enough without sneezing as I have been using a lash serum and my lashes a long enough to touch the top of my eyes...argh!!

Haha totally agree Kim!

24th May, 2017 at 10:15 pm

Smudged eye liner. Really gets me :(

Yes! Or one eye is not quite even, so you remedy. To then see it now doesn't match the other eye.......and goes on and on and .......

28th May, 2017 at 4:51 pm

Yep, and that's when you should wash your face and go back to bed for the day!!

28th May, 2017 at 6:28 pm

When your baby is peacefully napping and you decide to have a play around with hair/makeup,tip toeing away,grin on your face,then he wakes up crying. Bleeeep

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